Friday, December 30, 2016

I See Beauty Everywhere


Winter Challenge accepted...






Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Makeup

I don't see myself as a makeup artist because it is indeed an art form and I think I'm kinda art formed out...LoL too much to do for this one body. I cant specialize in everything I'm interested in.. I need to perfect a few disciplines. (just one would make me bored to tears)
What I definitely do is play with Makeup!

Here's a few videos of me learning how to do makeup better..The end result always seems to work out *smiles*
Cammy and Makeup version 2016!
I'm not advocating wearing makeup or not. I spent most of my life wearing little to no makeup.. though people would say I didn't need it! Id always take offence to that because to me it made me think that they didn't feel pretty enough to go without makeup. I dont see makeup as hiding or being insecure, to me its about expressing yourself.. Matching wardrobe with face and shopping for new colours!!! :)
Playing with my new favourite makeup mostly from NYX Cosmetics

 







Trying some new lipstick from Kat Von D Beauty
Studded Kiss Lipstick in Slayer. I cant wait to get more.

 

Im also wearing it below




Get 1st in Line


Get 1st in line, be sassy, be choosy, get what you deserve, get yours, its for you too, accept, appreciate, move on, release it  be brave ,be best at what you do, learn, legacy, mentor empower, reflect, relax, rest, timeout, breathe, unplug, cherish you're story, learn, grow, live, love, blossom, flourish, take it or leave it, real, frfr, learn to say no, walk away, decide, be you, be true, your face, sorrynotsorry, no apology, don't settle, worth the wait, big heart big choices, im just me, be you, love yourself, xo, be different, stand out, storm lives, be a light, shine bright, love the skin you're in, i am a warrior, be you, glass overflowing, unique, its me, all mine, im ok, smile you're ok, let it bur, don't let anyone break you, you deserve the best, happiness is a choice, silver sister, natural streak gray, grey, be playful, childlike heart, don't stop dreaming have fun, play

Saturday, December 24, 2016

No Shame

Don't let anyone tell you , you can't eat and maintain your weight! Don't be part of the problem, Stop making people feel guilty about eating, give them encouragement or be quiet ....Many of us take years or our whole lives getting rid of negative messages and dealing with unhealthy relationships with food, caused by bullying, dirty looks, food depravation and emotional and physical abuse. All those experiences build over the years and shape our reality. Im going for year 2 keeping it stable in 2017. I eat! It's Christmas and I'm eating whatever I want 🎄 #donttouchmysammich #foodie #keepingmycurves #tyvm #sexyplus #silver #mature #loveyouself #nobodyshaming 🚫 #effyourbeautystandards #imfatso






Monday, December 19, 2016

Sorrynotsorry


I'm a big girl in case you didn't notice
I love my curves 
I'm soft I'm squishy
Not everything bounces back like it used to
I look and feel cute even if everything is not in its place
I dont want to squish myself into restricting shapers and gadgets to tuck me in all the time
I want my body to breathe and be set free
I'm not hiding I'm not dressing just to please you
I have fat I have rolls I have parts that sag

It's ok
It's life

I've had ups and downs literally
My body is tired of playing catch-up
I will stretch and dance and workout 
But
Perfection is a fallacy
Because as soon as you reach your so called perfection something else needs to be maintained!
So go ahead and maintain...

You will have to decide whether or not you'll just be happy where you are right now in this moment, even when you are trying to achieve your goals.

Look, I lost 60 pounds in 2016!!!
I'm not telling you to not take care of your health

 BUT

Being body positive means you are positive about yourself  and loving yourself even if you don't look the way you would like 

in that moment
and giving yourself permission to say

I'm ok.









The Fat Lady Sings

"It ain't over till the fat lady sings!"

You're fat you can't possibly be happy!?!?
People actually think that fat people are sad, miserable, desperate and lonely. The truth is their reality is as diverse as anyone else's.

Personality is shaped from youth, DNA, upbringing and circumstances in life.

I've always been a jolly merry soul. I may be annoying to some or even misunderstood but by that's how I'm wired. #sorrynotsorry

Many are drawn to my energy and some like to suck the ever living blood out of it because they are empty inside. That's when  I gotta withdraw and recharge my spiritual and emotional tank. I'm learning about balance... getting better at it.


 Trust me I have my moments, I get moody (once a month) and sometimes Storm from X-MEN is unleashed with the death stare , and I shoot lightening bolts with my eyes and everyone backs off haha..but the storm soon subsides.



I had to keep a song in my heart because there will always be someone or something that will challenge and try you! It's not all bad, some experiences are there to mold your character
As long as you have that song that source of strength
You are the author 
You make the narrative
You hold the power
to make or break your day
Your month
Your year

Your story isin't over till the fat lady sings 

That fat lady is You!


Sunday, December 18, 2016

I'll tell you a Story

As a photographic artist and model it's my job to tell you a story through images. I invoke emotions, cause you to think, hope, dream, laugh, cry and a myriad of emotions. It's how I connect with you. I am honoured to be able to tell you stories through images!






Winter is Here


I was never inspired to do Winter shots I had to find my spark as a professional photographer. I think this year I finally got it!









My City!


My city was born here learned loved dreamed partied laughed cried... it's unique beautiful diverse.. a city like no other. Here's to my city!! 


Toronto



The Tdot



Toronto the Good



We The North



The Big Smoke



 


The 6ix




Know your Angles

Im going to be honest here...some people are just plain ole naturally photogenic.. You take a pic of them and bam fantastic! This doesn't mean that a person isint attractive when it doesnt happen that easily. Everyone is photo worthy!

Im not one of those naturally all angles fantastic people...no really I have some angles that look great and some not so much.

I want those of you who want to learn to take better pics to practice practice practice. Drive your Facebook friends nuts with your selfies.  Hey if they cant handle it they will unfriend you and who needs that kind of negativity LOL.

You can also do what I did and post pics in a private album so  you can see how you look if you think you are spamming your friends too much.


If it wasnt for my selfies I wouldnt have gotten my first client.. sooo... It teaches you a lot about yourself and others..trust me on this one!
Here a few of me just playing around with Angles.








You Make Me Brave

This post was a Repost of dedication to someone who inspired me on my Instagram as well as Facebook!


This post is all about bravery!!! I met him on a Toronto Photography page on Facebook, he liked my work and I liked his! Sometimes I can't tell who took which pic were so similar!! So we decided to meet to go and shoot up Toronto...with photos that is!!! We walked for hours which flew quickly. He isint from Canada hes from Turkey visiting and he knew places I didn't I showed him some cool spots too! He pushes me and encourages me all the time and I wouldn't even take pics in Winter if it wasn't for him.  Hes so humble and one of the most purest photographic talents I've ever seen!!! watch for him and definitely follow him you will not regret it!!! His pictures OMG he did Toronto proud!!! You are incredible Keny!!
-The End :)

Sometimes all it takes is for one person to believe in you to push you into the next level. Ill always be grateful for this new found friendship. Genuine friends are hard to find. If you arent that person make it your goal to be a genuine friend! It can change someones life for the better!



No Words


My tat says #nowords it has a special meaning to me... I was afraid and I hid for years  music and writing was my escape
Don't be afraid to speak out against victimization...use your words..you have the #power you are stronger now!
#yourbodyisyours
#nobaggyclothes
#nothiding
#sexualassault
#sexualabuse
#itsoktobesexy
#mybodyismine
#notyourfault
#wearred
#wearglitter
#wearheels
#becute
#besexy
#wearyoursmile
#nomoreemotionaleating
#eattolive
#standstrong
#bbw
#curvy
#lookdonttouch
#physicalabuse
#domesticviolence
#emotionalabuse
#survivor
#nohiding
#youreok
#healing
#youareloved

Pizza!


This is Cammy..Cammy will #eat what she wants when she wants whatever she wants! She will gain weight, loss weight, her clothes will fit and sometimes it won't. She doesn't care what you think about it...she doesn't care about your #opinions about her #health because it's her health have you checked yourself lately? Are you nice to people, servers, seniors? Do you have manners? Are you good on the inside too?
Cammy will dance and swim circles around you ! Cammy will pump iron Cammy will walk for hours Cammy will take naps Cammy will do nothing!!! Cammy will eat green Cammy will have Cinnabons, Cammy will have cheat days.. Cammy knows you will fat shame her cause you are miserable, hate yourself and have control issues, you're not satisfied with your own self hate ...why not tell a big girl her life sucks too! Cammy will eat her damn pizza in front of you and when she's done she will get another piece and stare you down!!! Cammy goes to checkups Cammy has good cholesterol. MOST IMPORTANTLY Cammy Loves herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like A Skyscraper

This pic below seems to resonate with people on my instagram and Facebook. 




A skyscraper is something we look up to. It towers over us. it represents many things to many people.
Hopes
Dreams
Aspirations
Goals
Money
Power
Education
Im sure you can come up with much more
It can also represent
failure
doubt
fear
heartache
loss
When I take photos of anything its because something about it touches me reaches me speaks to me. I don't choose the photos they choose me! The trees the birds even my feet on the ground. Its my gift and its the message that someone needs to see, hear and feel. 
I captioned this Like A Skyscraper and I did have the Demi Lovato song in mind. If you don't know it or haven't heard it.. you might need a tissue if you are soft-hearted like I am. Its a powerful song. 

Sometimes the walls of strength come down
but if we build slowly we can rise, 
be tall
strong
beautiful
sparking
again

Like a skyscraper...













Saturday, December 17, 2016

The World is Your Runway


You were made to shine and to hold your head up, no matter your disappointments, your pain what rejection you have faced!


You were made to shine in the sun and in the rain.

Dont apologize for treating yourself
loving yourself
saying No
saying Yes
putting your needs first
not making it to out everything 
Blocking someone out of your life because they dont respect your boundaries!
being honest
for laughing
for crying
for being angry
for working hard
for resting
changing directions in you life
Changing the game!

The world is your runway step out and work it!!!!!!

Body POSITIVE???

Im a girl, a woman a lady, I'm black a Christian from conservative upbringing... so why oh why would I be interested in the body positive movement??? I was raised to be modest and I believe there is beauty in modesty! I'm not supposed to tease or tantalize men and 'their roving eyes. Most days all my 'sexy parts' are covered and I would pass for the friendly neighborhood librarian.  You know, decent sweet wholesome, dare I say innocent type? Thats just my look.  *shrugs*
Now there is nothing wrong with any of those attributes.. but there is more to me than that!

Im no stranger to body issues. I've been fat since age 8 and I've never known skinny or worn regular size clothing in my entire adult life. I've been up to size 24 and down to 13 and pretty much stuck in a plus size world. Having to hunt for pretty clothes, bras swimsuits paying ridiculous amounts od money for the 'extra material'.  I'm very secure with myself I don't have the need to attract men with my exterior..in fact most of my pics on my personal social media sites are of the head up to avoid being treated like a brainless barbie doll with boobs. I know the power of my body. I had huge breasts till my early 30s.  I had a breast reduction due to years of discomfort and back pain. 12 years later I'm still ample double D's. Getting a man was too easy back then and I actually took it for granted. Men are indeed visual!!!

Its the visual aspect in men and women that has been affected deeply by the media. I could write volumes as to why I am on board for the body positive movement and perhaps I will one day.
If you have ever looked at art, a sculpture, a swimwear or lingerie model, commercials, music videos and just mainstream media.....you are already witness to the concept of what the ideal standard of beauty is . Its White Euro tall blonde size nothing! Problem is no one is perfect, even if I just described you no one looks 'perfect' forever!



There has been many harmful messages portrayed to men and women about our bodies. One is we must be perfect to be happy another is we are all broken and need to be fixed! Women and men are fighting back. We are tired of hiding our flaws, and trying to fit into an unrealistic standard of beauty. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of beauty
(RIP to all the lovelies we have lost and will lose for the sake of trying to achieve perfection. I have been to funerals for such ladies.)

I dressed women for 5 years in retail and they all had one thing in common, no matter their size they hated their bodies! I had to be their therapist in the change room. Size 5 women hating their ' fat thighs' while I tried to figure out what thighs they were talking about.. women trying to squeeze into a smaller size because they couldn't bear to go a size up for a better fit. Their self esteem issues grieved me.!It was so prevalent among the customers, I knew if not resolved, those issues would most likely be passed on to their children.

Make no mistake the beauty industry thrives on us wishing to look more perfect and this is coming from a tom-boy turned recent makeup junkie! My love for makeup is for artistry reasons. 
I am ok going outside without anything on my face. Ive earned it!




This year I started coming across body positive posts and images and I was moved deeply! I like to write so I knew I would chime in with my thoughts eventually. When Julia Busato  of Julia Busato Photography asked me to  be part of the Mannequin Series I hesitated at first.. because I would be nude, but behind the mannequin...
I'm the most comfy person in the world with little to no clothes..in my own space but for pubic viewing...that's a different story! I put the idea of being part of the project on the back burner...actually said no but told her how much I loved what she was doing and how her work has been touching me deeply... but then it hit me! I needed to do this! Representation matters! What if I had seen a visual like this growing up?  How much anguish would it have saved me? I may not have starved myself or taken horrible tasting pills, or decided not to go somewhere because of how I looked that day! I may have walked with my head held high much earlier in life. If being a part of this would help one person who hated themselves, one person who was down, depressed, hurting or suicidal, I needed to do this! The message was far more important than people ogling over me behind a mannequin.. oh and I am naked behind the mannequin! We're all naked under our clothes *smiles* Skin isint bad... the messages we receive about it can be. 

So I'm here making one small dent in reversing those bad messages as a Body Positive Plus  Model.

 Once I saw the finished product I knew it was the right thing! There was nothing but joy on my face!

Credits : Photography - Julia Busato Photography
 Makeup - Megz Makeup

This was truly special in the series
I turned her upside down!
I said Eff your beauty standards!
I am beautiful
I am lovable
I am OK
Im ok with my chubby tummy
Im ok with my stretch marks
Im ok with my dark skin
Im ok in all my glory, with my size, my gray hair (under the scarf)
Im ok with my age, my experience and how I choose to express myself
Im ok with my sexuality 
Im ok with my strengths and weaknsses
Im ok with my vulnerability
Im ok with my boldness
Im ok with my choices Ive made in life!
Im not perfect by society's standards and Im perfectly ok with that!
 I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am not broken anymore!