Mental Health Check ( 1st Psych Assessment)

CW: Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation

So I'm going to my 1st therapy assessment today for stress management and another main one in the Summer.

There was a time I wouldn't be able to leave my house for days, weeks, months... I have so many stories of how it's affected my life, school, work just about everything. Mastering the art of getting by being the best student, employee, friend...until anxiety and panic got the best of me. It didn't stop there it attacked my body which forced my life to take a huge standstill. I spent 3 years unable to do much for myself. I could barely walk. It triggered psoriasis, IBS and autoimmune factors, chronic fatigue and pain. At one point I was over 90% covered in severe psoriasis,  unable to sleep let alone think and often suicidal, I fought my way back hopping my way to my new job which was volunteer at first and started living again....until it happened again, stressful factors and a fear of being bedbound and helpless again I started to crumble. After ending up in the hospital yet again I quit.

At home, I threw myself into the arts. Creating almost every day,  within 3 months people asked me to do work and for a couple years I did projects...got plastered on dozens of international publications and asked to do many more, still happens. I knew I had to try though some thought I lost my mind, leaving a good job for the arts!?!? but purpose called my name and did I ever show up and out!✨
One thing...I still wasn't well. Had some losses in my life family members.. things crept up again, I took a hiatus, money was tight and the one thing that was and getting me outside.... photography, even that became a source of panic and I could no longer functional enough to work professionally...at least for the time being. I stopped taking on projects💔

Chronic illness and a bunch of unknown factors was winning the battle. I was under attack...

Determined to not go down that way, I spoke to my doctor and she said and I quote,

"You don't have depression?"
I nearly broke down and said..
'I do."

... and that has brought me here to this point today, with my kids almost all adults, happy, empathetic, strong and well balanced, I put my all into them, now their mom is going to make sure she's ok too!
I'm ready, fam. I was made to conquer, create and inspire, that's why I'm here afterall! 😉♥️

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