Beauty...Pass it On

I've been subject to verbal,  emotional and sexual abuse in my life. I've been called ugly a monkey a N***er yelled at from cars by strangers.

In relationships I've been told I'm only good for sex by bitter men, men that participated, demanded and even took it, only to make me feel less than afterwards. I cared for nurtured and fed the ego these men in a myraid of ways besides sexual.

When it comes to appearance Ive been told I look like a man at times, that was especially hurtful then,  its not nasty to be seen as androgynous now. I looked up to Grace Jones from childhood, her beautiful dark skin her, androgeny, her stature, her "I'm fabulous" without apology!

 I've been fat shamed my whole life! I always shook it off. From childhood I knew fat shaming was wrong and nothing was wrong with me. I know I am beautiful and maintain my own unshakable self confidence. I own my reality without rigid beauty standards and find comfort there.
 Part of why I do Body Positive work, is to show others that you don't have to fit into what society says is beautiful. You don't have to have everything in place you don't have to be on point all the time. We know the industry standard and whats expected but it's changing slowly. Sexuality and skin often gets confused in this movement mostly by men (definitely not limited to), who are so inclined to associate skin with sex, it may feel like the message is getting muffled, but the narrative is changing. I try guide the ones I come in contact with for they have unlearning to do. Ive spent most my life trying not to be sexy for fear of being victimized. I came to the realization that I wasn't the problem it was their expectations. They think they own us and we owe them by merely existing.

 We make apologies for our appearence daily, we sculpt, mold and cover it up and we're shamed either way. We're too fat, too busty, not fair enough, butt not big enough, not young enough. When we finally break free and say No!! I love myself I'm ok with how I look or how I am I'm ok with a muffin top, I'm ok with a few extra pounds. I'm going to dance and sing because I'm having a good day... Someone comes in and tries to rip us apart again!

 Beauty has no size, no colour, no height, no gender. Beauty is not found merely on your outer shell...beauty is in your heart its your energy it's what you give back, it's telling a story sending a message, making a statement... Its challenging the status quo to make changes that will last beyond your lifespan. So pass it on! Be your own kind of beautiful. You define you it's​ not the other way around!
Never let it be the other way around xo