Body POSITIVE???

Im a girl, a woman a lady, I'm black a Christian from conservative upbringing... so why oh why would I be interested in the body positive movement??? I was raised to be modest and I believe there is beauty in modesty! I'm not supposed to tease or tantalize men and 'their roving eyes. Most days all my 'sexy parts' are covered and I would pass for the friendly neighborhood librarian.  You know, decent sweet wholesome, dare I say innocent type? Thats just my look.  *shrugs*
Now there is nothing wrong with any of those attributes.. but there is more to me than that!

Im no stranger to body issues. I've been fat since age 8 and I've never known skinny or worn regular size clothing in my entire adult life. I've been up to size 24 and down to 13 and pretty much stuck in a plus size world. Having to hunt for pretty clothes, bras swimsuits paying ridiculous amounts of money for the 'extra material'.  I'm very secure with myself I don't have the need to attract men with my exterior..in fact most of my pics on my personal social media sites are of the head up to avoid being treated like a brainless barbie doll with boobs. I know the power of my body. I had huge breasts till my early 30s.  I had a breast reduction due to years of discomfort and back pain. 12 years later I'm still ample double D's. Getting a man was too easy back then and I actually took it for granted. Men are indeed visual

Its the visual aspect in men and women that has been affected deeply by the media. I could write volumes as to why I am on board for the body positive movement and perhaps I will one day.
If you have ever looked at art, a sculpture, a swimwear or lingerie model, commercials, music videos and just mainstream media.....you are already witness to the concept of what the ideal standard of beauty is . Its White Euro tall blonde size nothing! Problem is no one is perfect, even if I just described you no one looks 'perfect' forever!

There has been many harmful messages portrayed to men and women about our bodies. One is we must be perfect to be happy another is we are all broken and need to be fixed! Women and men are fighting back. We are tired of hiding our flaws, and trying to fit into an unrealistic standard of beauty. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of beauty
(RIP to all the lovelies we have lost and will lose for the sake of trying to achieve perfection. I have been to funerals for such ladies.)

I dressed women for 5 years in retail and they all had one thing in common, no matter their size they hated their bodies! I had to be their therapist in the change room. Size 5 women hating their ' fat thighs' while I tried to figure out what thighs they were talking about.. women trying to squeeze into a smaller size because they couldn't bear to go a size up for a better fit. Their self esteem issues grieved me.!It was so prevalent among the customers, I knew if not resolved, those issues would most likely be passed on to their children.

Make no mistake the beauty industry thrives on us wishing to look more perfect and this is coming from a tom-boy turned recent makeup junkie! My love for makeup is for artistry reasons. 

I am ok going outside without anything on my face. Ive earned it!

This year I started coming across body positive posts and images and I was moved deeply! I like to write so I knew I would chime in with my thoughts eventually. When Julia Busato  of Julia Busato Photography asked me to  be part of the Mannequin Series I hesitated at first.. because I would be nude, but behind the mannequin...

I'm the most comfy person in the world with little to no clothes..in my own space but for pubic viewing...that's a different story! I put the idea of being part of the project on the back burner...actually said no but told her how much I loved what she was doing and how her work has been touching me deeply... but then it hit me! I needed to do this! Representation matters! What if I had seen a visual like this growing up?  How much anguish would it have saved me? I may not have starved myself or taken horrible tasting pills, or decided not to go somewhere because of how I looked that day! I may have walked with my head held high much earlier in life. If being a part of this would help one person who hated themselves, one person who was down, depressed, hurting or suicidal, I needed to do this! The message was far more important than people ogling over me behind a mannequin.. oh and I am naked behind the mannequin! We're all naked under our clothes *smiles* Skin isint bad... the messages we receive about it can be. 

So I'm here making one small dent in reversing those bad messages as a Body Positive Plus  Model.

 Once I saw the finished product I knew it was the right thing! There was nothing but joy on my face!

Credits : Photography - Julia Busato Photography

 Makeup - Megz Makeup

This was truly special in the series

I turned her upside down!

I said Eff your beauty standards!

I am beautiful

I am lovable

I am OK

Im ok with my chubby tummy

Im ok with my stretch marks

Im ok with my dark skin

Im ok in all my glory, with my size, my gray hair (under the scarf)

Im ok with my age, my experience and how I choose to express myself

Im ok with my sexuality 

Im ok with my strengths and weaknsses

Im ok with my vulnerability

Im ok with my boldness

Im ok with my choices Ive made in life!

Im not perfect by society's standards and Im perfectly ok with that!

 I am fearfully and wonderfully made

I am not broken anymore!